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Kriss Morton - In the Loft of the Cabin Goddess

My Loft of the Cabin where I store all my virtual reads, reviews and discover new adventures and share new stories!

Angel Falls

Angel Falls - Michael Paul Gonzalez

L is for Lucifer, the Lord of Lies & Lightbringer 


Perfect Edge Trifecta's second Cabin Goddess Stop


You would think this would be another review about an obvious villain, I mean he is Lucifer after all, right? So you are going to say, oh ya, Kriss is on a roll, she is going to tell you about another dark and f-up tale of creepy as all get out but I hate to disappoint you, nope! This is, however, one hell of a book. It is hell-arious! (*snicker* no apologies) plus it works with my #atozchallenge L word.. man, this challenge is kicking for me this year!


Angel Falls - small

I totally dismissed this book figuring it was going to be the dud of the group but since I am a completionist I wanted to do all three of the Trifecta because I am jiggy like that. I mean check the cover out as I saw it, at this size. Its looks like a cheesy Indie comic book. The title font is blah, amateur hour font and I was like "what the hell could this be about?" I did not even check out the synopsis, seriously! I figured, Emlyn Chand says, "Hey Kriss, you are gonna love these books!", so I say "OK, sign me up."  I had already read about the other two. Being the cover whore I am, this one, no way. HAH joke's on me. NOW if I had just looked a wee bit closer.


MorningStar & Eve

These two are fabulous. Lucifer & Eve! Within the first four pages. the writing had me. I love good humor and Michael's writing is freaking hilarious. The construct of Hell actually sounds kind of fun. If you think about it, it makes more than a little bit of sense. An Angel FALLS, and names the place he is now in charge of maintaining, or being the landlord of, Angel Falls.. ha hahahaha. *shaking head* it just get's better. I love feel good books like this. Necropolis by Tom Waggoner has the same feeling and is paranormal.


Michael takes the basic fight of Heaven and Hell, old gods and goddesses literary  references and blended them into a lecherous and delightful story which centers around ages biggest crime, love. YEP! This is all about a word that starts with #atozchallenge's letter's L word and one of the biggest words:



Love


What don't believe me? How can a book that is about Satan be about love Seriously? You think getting all shemxy & slithery on Eve was just about getting her to eat an apple and what came after it? Haven't you ever thought watching someone eat is hot and sexy? You don't think he just wanted to watch her eat that apple? Come on people!


Oh wait, I may have given some of the story away *zipping lips* Just ponder a moment, could something so simple have gotten him the boot? Let's think outside of the box with this one, because I know Michael did! He had a lot of fun and this witch certainly had a blast! OohOohOoh and Hecate? (who BTW is like, OMG one of my favorite Goddesses! *flipping my witchy hair over my shoulder*) Meet me at the Cross roads, baby because I want to pop some of that Iowa corn I talked about earlier in the week and watch the scene which unfolded with the Ghost Queen.. Confusing you yet? Oh Gods and Goddesses!! This book is another bottle of Awesomesauce and it needs a big old stack of Manna cakes for me to pour all over!


Oh ya, the chick in the close up of the cover? That is Eve with Satan aka Lightbringer aka Morningstar, isn't she fabulous? And yes, the grey hair is his fault! That or the fact she has slung hash and stacks of Manna Cakes for lost souls and her the fallen angel which caused her to be separated from her husband and dealing with the ultimate and first dysfunctional family in earth's history. (re:Cain and Abel). But first *picking up a menu* ....  Manna Cakes... ohhh Manna Cakes......... *wiping drool* ... about those Manna cakes



Manna Cakes 
Hoecakes


(recipe from) Paula Deen
Total Time: 20 min
Prep: 5 min
Cook: 15 min
Yield: About 17 Manna Cakes

  • 1 cup self-rising flour

  • 1 cup self-rising cornmeal, or from a mix 

  • 2 eggs

  • 1 tablespoon sugar

  • 3/4 cup buttermilk

  • 1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon water

  • 1/4 cup vegetable oil or bacon grease

  • Oil, butter, or clarified margarine, for frying


Mix well all ingredients, except for the frying oil. Heat the frying oil or butter in a medium or large skillet over medium heat. Drop the batter, by full tablespoons, into the hot skillet. Use about 2 tablespoons of batter per hoecake. Fry each hoecake until brown and crisp; turn each hoecake with a spatula, and then brown the other side. With a slotted spoon, remove each hoecake to drain on a paper towel-lined plate. Leftover batter will keep in refrigerator for up to 2 days.

Oh and there is another kind of love that comes into play, puppy love! Cerberus! Only Satan can get all gooey over the most feared dog in mythological history! 


It doesn't stop, no seriously it does not stop. It can't because Satan has to stop the the Paris Hilton of Hell from causing Armageddon. The vapid twit has been tricked by Cain and Abel into becoming a Vessel .. ya, let's face it, who else would be empty enough to be a vessel but a vapid trust fund kid who is more concerned about if her dog matches her shoes ... just jaw dropping vapidness. Now she ends up full of ick enough to bring on the possible end of the world so hold onto your seats!


Here are a few main characters



*Lightbringer, Morningstar, Satan aka the hero
*Goliath
*Eve
*Monkey aka the author (seriously my theory)

DA BAD GUYS
*Cain and Abel
Aspen aka Vapid Armageddon Empty Vessel Girl
Various demons who really are just following the dysfunctional brothers

baron_samedi_by_satan3000-d5i7kqxGoliath, as in the giant ready to protect Eve the only true human in a sea of damned souls, dead and forgotten gods, demons etc..  at the drop of a hat (and with Baron Samedi that could happen at any time once they get to the Under/Under) an angel called Lenny (well at least part of one) and Monkey (whom I believe is the author in disguise) in his Evel Knievel suit - yes Evel did not make it to the pearly gates. Oh, this is the other fun part, the people who have made it to Hell (because in this case honestly its a who's who that has made it cornucopia in Angel Falls which matters, not who is making it to Heaven. Sure people want to make it to Heaven, case in point Vapid Armageddon Empty Vessel Girl and Eve, but most folks are happy enough in Angel Falls. Who can resist Manna Cakes and great service!



Satan aka Lightbringer is the bomb! He gave up a hand, he gave up his love, he sacrificed it all and he is left to clean up the mess. He still can eat Manna Cakes and I can officially admit that I was shouting HAIL SATAN with glee by the end of the book!



5 for comedic writing - 3.5 for the cover so - a  solid 4 stars


But wait you say, you lead me on with the mention of lies in the title you harpy! Well I do not want to be a liar!  Lies, why did I mention lies in the title? Well lies are what started all of this, after all Satan is the lord of them and it is his lying about love which starts his fall... Go grab the book, seriously, it is a fantastic read, and monkey, that quadrupedalism makes him one freaky loveh! 


Angel Falls